I will also be using this page to play with fonts ! sorry for the updates in advance thank you (:

This game called life?
I wanted to live for me,
and stop dying for others.
one more slip,
until she fell,
but rose above all odds,
the angel from hell.
I had a bad day;
I let others control my happiness.
I didn't see an entrance sign to enter life,
I suppose I won't see an exit sign either.
I inched
and I crawled,
only to be swallowed whole.
Let go of
Others who are
Not meant for you &
Eventually you'll
Learn to love
Yourself
The rain water,
drizzled on the stained car glass,
leaving circles of hope,
and bubbles of optimism.
I think i’ve been a shadow long enough. When you take care of others,
how are you supposed to take care of yourself?
My pen bleeds the words,
that I don’t have the courage to say outloud.
I’m taking chances,
I’m making mistakes,
BUT I’M TAKING CHANCES.
~ to live a life with no regret.
Getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,
Well now,
That’s a really awkward feeling…
I suggest you try it.
force
a
smile
to
drain
my
soul
knowing the difference between
then and than,
isn’t important...
~ who you are is important.
I clenched my fists and cursed the sky,
longing to release my mind.
Am I finding,
 or creating myself?
I look at the degree,
In a pretty box on my wall,
It reflects a bachelors,
But was it worth it all?

I’m trying to move forward,
And find my new path,
I hope it wasn’t a waste of time,
All these years worth of class…
the urge for change,
lingered inside my soul.
the mask
couldn't hide
e v e r y t h i n g.
 her blood pressure touched the sky,
and she kissed those within reach,
behind the fake smile,
with Colgate white strip bleached teeth.
When you grow up with chaos,
somewhere along the lines,
it becomes "normal,"
and you get use to it.
I’m really nothing special,
but I’d like to be.
the butterflies dance inside my brain,
weaving in and out sweet lullabies.
force a smile to drain my soul.



I will continue to write,
Until you hear me.
94% of college graduates have a career within six months of graduation,
but i'm part of the 6%,
and I wonder what the 6% of us are doing at this very moment.
The nights became colder,
and the days slipped by,
daydreaming of the life she use to have.
the feelings I feel,
and visions I see,
are blind to normal eyes,
but colorful to me.
is it that chaotic?
to think a girl who lightens the sky,
demises in her own disdain.

placeholder

She picked and twirled twigs from the floor,
distributing them upon her shoulders,
where they fell many times before,
in attempt to fly again.

I wish I was a highlighter,
So I could highlight all the good parts of life.

The petals danced,
as they swayed beneath the flower,
screaming they were special too.

wine tastes sweeter,
when drank without regret.

Headphones and music,
drowned out the monstrous beast,
who lurked around every corner,
until his next manic episode unleashed.

“Why do you have so many piercings?”
~ to remind me of a time I could not go back too.

Can I dance upon the stars and kiss the moon?

/editing/

Can I dance upon the stars and kiss the moon?
force a smile to drain my soul.



it's like getting a cup of coffee,
but wanting tea instead.

CHOOSE TO LET GO
 AND WATCH THE LOVE START POURING IN

I think it’s time to light a match inside souls
and deliver chills down
s
p
i
n
e
s
when they read what I’ve been through
~ Keep on carrying on.

The piercing sharp blade,
Gutted deep into my lip,
As I saw a white line,
Attached to a ship.

The line budged, tugged and pulled,
But the metal would not slip.
How was I so easily fooled?
As more blood began to drip.

I swam up and down,
And even left and right,
Despite my attempts to escape,
I would not win this fight.

I slowly approached the air,
Continuously gasping for water,
The tare burned my mouth,
Mentally preparing me for my slaughter.

As I reached the surface,
I pondered my purpose,
But I flipped and I flopped,
Begging to be free.
The human reeled me in, As I dangled upon the line
Looked me in the eyes,
And said “It’s not your time.”

My mouth yanked,
And the hook was released,
Back into the water I was thrown,
But this near death experience,
Left me internal peace.

Searching for a high,
I cannot reach,
enough is enough,
they never teach.

They take your money,
and they take your soul,
when does it stop?
when you're no longer whole.

Putting pieces together,
half by half,
can't figure myself out,
where is my path?

I can't save myself,
lost in a dream,
"I have another dollar"
says inside, the fiend.

If there's a will there's a way,
as I come crashing down again,
nothing much left of me,
just nausea, thoughts and my pen.

the broken door squeaks,
as his boots clammer in,
sighing under his breath,
“fuck this place” yet again.

his breath smells of whisky,
and stumbles through the hall,
I lock my door and close it,
trying to hear nothing at all.

I turn on the tv,
blasting it as loud as I can,
make haste to retrieve my journal,
and push down on my ballpoint pen.
~ why does writing make me feel safe?

I don’t remember your face,
But it’s not your fault,
Too much I drank,
Shots without halt,

Blurred vision I saw,
Couldn’t speak clearly,
You dived in raw,
I struggled dearly.

You thrusted my body,
Clenched me to your hip,
Screamed and I budged,
But couldn’t escape your grip.

Hand over my mouth,
Tears streamed down my face,
Gasping for air,
You increased the pace.

Faster and harder,
I was to weak,
Soon you would finish,
All over me and leak.

I don’t remember your face,
But you haunt me,
Fingers playing with my body,
Like I was your toy dolly.

Sweat of your pores,
Continuous huff of your breath,
Only inside me once,
But it feels like you never left.