October 2020 🕷
Personal • 10/29/20I've been doing better focusing on the positive instead of venting about the negative. My TOKYO GHOUL mask came in the mail today (: I started studying for the nursing entrance exam as a back up, and applied for an accelerated nursing program. I think I have a solid chance of getting in. I really just want to get out of my house and be independent.
Personal • 10/26/20I'm rarely home at all anymore. For what it's worth, it seems like it's keeping me more sane. Still struggling with what i'm going to do with my life and have to edit the other page i'm working on.
Personal • 10/22/20I'm trying, i'm really trying.
Personal • 10/21/20I'm going to try to be more positive and stop harnesting the darkness I keep inside. I gotta just let it go.
Personal • 10/20/20
StrugglingI'm struggling trying to figure out how to express my feelings in appealing platform. I don't think they should be on my main page, but what do I really know. I've taken a bunch of pretty photos the last few days and have been spending more time in nature which is making me feel better all around.
Personal • 10/15/20
- - - - - -I'll update this again later. I think i'm going to provide a different section for things like this. As you can see i'm still playing with the layout, as well as my life, and mobile responsive blog posts. Thanks for keeping up with my insanity. If i'm a bother, feel free to unfollow.
Autumn is the hardest season. The leaves are all falling, and they’re falling like they’re falling in love with the ground - Andrea Gibson
Personal • 10/13/20
There are far better things ahead than any we leave behindI don't understand what's wrong with people who don't want to leave you the fuck alone. It's quite simple, honestly. I request to no longer speak to a certain someone and alas like magic you're supposed to just fucking disappear. It's becoming apparent to me I have to resort to my old methods again and now do the immature blocking so perhaps they get the hint. Unfortunately I can't just pull restraining orders out on everyone I know because that would be absurd. I would like to take special note in this section and dedicate to how much I will no longer be helping my brother in any shape or form as well. I will no longer allow him to use my printer. I will no longer help him with physics. I will no longer help him with his girl situations he's gotten himself into time and time again. I will no longer help him set up his schedules, nor give the guidance and support I use too. The basis of this pretty much follows with my "cousins" as well. I was suppposed to be in a competition with some of them this week, but I think it's for the best to just omit everything. Truth is, I don't really need anyone besides myself. I think to whoever reading this, the same goes to you as well. Extra people in our lives, helps the time pass by faster, and sometimes even make the pain dull. But just like drugs, alcohol and extra people it is all only temporary. Just stepping stones in our path to help get through a certain phase or numb the pain.
How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days - John Burroughs
Personal • 10/12/20
Blood isn't thicker than water,
and family will cross you quicker then strangers
Personal • 10/09/20
We accept the love we think we deserve - Stephen Chbosky - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Personal • 10/07/20
A flower cannot blossom without sunshine,
and man cannot live without love
Mistakes are proof that you're trying
Personal • 10/06/20
Send me on my wayEveryday I walk into my house the creature groans loud enough to be heard and known. I should be more clear, it groans whenever anyone walks into my house. To hear this everyday is psychologically d r a i n i n g. He groans because he hates anything that represents happiness or change. Some people just want to make others around them miserable, when they can't achieve their own form of happiness. In my own perspective, happiness isn't always achieved easily. There are many variables that play a role in this. Somedays I obviously myself struggle but I have to keep looking forward because I refuse to be stagnant. I don't want to be a pond that mosquitos come to lay there eggs in and infest. I want to be a wave in the ocean impacting others and finding myself in various parts of the world. ANYWAYS, running does clear my mind and helps me look at the bigger picture instead of the thoughts racing through my head.
People say you have to have a lot of passion for what you’re doing and it’s totally true. The reason is that it’s so hard that, if you don’t, any rational person would give up. So if you don’t love it, if you’re not having fun doing it, you’re going to give up - Steve Jobs
Personal • 10/05/20
On the bright side,
I went sunflower picking this weekend 🌻
Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower - ― Albert Camus