June 2021


Does anyone else walk into their room with their shoes & jacket still on and just sigh?

• I admire the bowling lady. I’m not sure exactly what to call her so I call her the bowling lady to be honest. Anyways she’s probably been working there for longer than I’ve been alive. But her stories seemed to be the highlight of my day to say the least. Stories of bowlers who attempted bowling with miscellaneous fails. Two to be exact, made me laugh. The first one was a bowler who’d attempted to throw a ball and ended up bouncing it off the ceiling (breaking the tile) and ended up bouncing into another lane… but still landing a strike for someone else. The second story was a bowler who swung back a hard pitch to throw but accidentally let go before shooting forward for the pins. Everyone in the bowling ally had ducked and covered their heads. Thankfully, nobody was hit but it was still a tale to be told.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3


• I've got a lot of stuggle inside and ready to write. Seems bitter sweet to say the least. My timeline is an attempt to be accurate, but I never date what I write in my real journal. So everything is chaotic just like in real life. I'm just looking forward to the day where I can walk into my own apartment or house and endure nothing but silence.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3


• It's been a minute. Today is going as smooth as it could I suppose. Still learning to TRUST THE PROCESS but whatever lol.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3


• My first shift went well, even though i'm obnoxiously tired. It's so humid here and the sky is so gray, longing for sunshine. I learned that people actually eat cicadas. Apparently cicadas also share common ancestory to lobsters and shrimp. So basically, the FDA is warning people not to eat cicadas if they have a seafood allergy. Apparently cicadas also only come out from underground every 17 years. Strange. Another fun/random thing I learned today is NASA launched baby squids and microscopic animals to space. Supposedly the goal is to understand animal and microbe effects of spaceflight...
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3


• It's amazing how much more I enjoy piano music when i'm feeling utmost emotional. Feels like it brings out a different side of internal bliss or healing in a different way sort of speak. Lucifer was playing the piano and it struck a chord for me to finally write. Kinda wish I still actively played the piano, but I wasn't never really good at it. Some people are just born natural talented musicians, but I am not one of them. Honestly, I also don't have much rhythm either. I'm pretty much just your average joe in everything I feel like. I'm good at some things, but i'm not great in anything particular.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3

I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
Current mood: radiohead - creep

• I'll update later. But so far, it's been a good day.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3

• Well June has begun and I can't stop thinking how I feel that i'm in the same place I was last year. I know technically i'm not but it feels like it. A lot has changed, and I hope in the long run it's all for the better. I have a book I recieved in a package about two weeks ago that i've neglected to read, or let alone open. I think i'm finally going to do that today. The plus side of today is that it finally stopped raining (it's literally rained here the last three days and i'm looking forward to seeing some sunshine). The creature has woken up since I began writing this and I can feel the negativity spieling throughout the house. *sigh.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. <3