APRIL 2025
i'm just so tired.
i've been going through alot recently hence I haven't updated or changed like anything I intended to fix on here -__- so we had a sexual offender on our block try to break into one of the neighbors houses. that kinda took a toll on my mental health. they haven't caught him yet and it was hard for me to sleep at night for two weeks wondering if he would come back to our block and try to break into mine or another house. i've finally started sleeping better though. the other issue i have been dealing with setting boundaries with my significant others parents. it's been a REAL rocky road. i feel foolish. i've never really had a relationship with his parents and now that I have a baby his mother is a burden and a half. my partner is an only child, and this is now her only grandchild. she bought a house 5 minutes away from my house. she wants to be involved all the time and with everything, expecting to see my child atleast once a week and every holiday. i'm not comfortable with this, mostly do to instances that have happened thus far. per example, when my child was crying she walked into my room ( without knocking ) and immediantly insisted I hand my child over to her. obviously I said no, you're not the mother I will care for my child. she seems to want to "relive" her days as motherhood. i know she means well but it's super frustrating. to top that off easter weekend was a shit show. i tried to be nice and let her "celebrate" easter with my child on saturday instead of easter sunday so she would back off. i regret making that choice. i enjoyed my day with my significant other but my child arrived to my house with an easter basket. it royally pissed me the fuck off. i let you spend the day with my child, so why wouldn't you take photos of my child opening up the easter basket and do it at your own time at your own house? instead she purposely didn't open it, so she would expect pictures of us opening it and my child playing with the toys, so she could still have the "easter experience". maybe i should have just said "thank you" for my childs easter basket and moved on. unfortunately you get to this age where you have to pick your battles carefully and she's just an automatic trigger for me at this point. my relationship with my significant other is starting to suffer because of her and is choosing to support his mother over this "family" i thought we created together. yet again, i feel foolish. my partner acts like a child and is non-communicative until he feels ready to do so. if you're reading this heres some future advice: do not be in a relationship with someone who does the silent treatment, it is a manipulation technique and a sign of emotional immaturity. my siginificant other has done this in the past but it didn't bother me then, but it's different once you have a child. you become the default parent and have to do everything by yourself. it's selfish, harmful, and damaging. i feel like i don't have a partner right now and am parenting two children. sigh.APRIL 2025
it's been a roller coaster
Every year something weird happens with my taxes, like things you wouldn't even think can happen. Apparently I had a health tax form I forgot about ( but it's my fault cause I forgot to cancel it and was still paying for that specific one 3 months into 2024 ). So there's that and now I will probably have to file a tax extension. Besides that, one of my best friends lashed out on me and I had to call her sister to figure out what was going on. So that was frustrating and found out it's because she's going through health issues and not taking her medication... I feel like I had more to say here but now I can't remember. Oh the lizard lived from my last post, lmao. It's just been a very long week and hadn't had a chance to like update anything womp. Still trying to figure out how to make my javascript snippets show correctly but it's annoying me, i'm sure it's a simple fix lol. this is what i get for making a layout based in javascript and i'm a n00b so here we are. Hope if you're reading this you're doing well !APRIL 2025
happy april fools day or whatever
still kinda angry about the gas station worker but it is what it is. finally got my taxes done which is a plus. don't know why i keep forgetting to charge my computer -__- came home to find my kittens found a lizard and were trying to kill it so obv i'm trying to save it still rn. i have the lil lizard in his own area so he can heal but his tail did come off. learned that they mainly eat insects so makes sense why he wasn't eatting the fruit i provided. i hope he makes it and doesn't die in the night so i can return him to the outdoors tomorrow :( sigh*MARCH 2025
gas station workers
i'm tired. yes it's fine if you work at a gas station (i'm not one to judge) but what just really drives me off the deep end? everytime i walk into a gas station a worker tries to seduce me or some shit. they always say something like "there's no ring on your finger so there's a chance." then i become all might from my hero academia. i CHOOSE to not be married ( i know this sounds obscure ) but growing up i learned i never want to be in a position i can't escape from. so no, i don't have a ring on my finger but today might be the final straw to make people stfu. I'm sorry this is a vent post, but here we are. I hope if you're reading this you're doing okay.MARCH 2025
so this is just gonna be bullet notes i'm learning
so my layout.js has the defer on it basically it loads everything before some of my content loads so i have to go back and fix things on top of that switching layouts was a whole nother mind boggle to me (it looks like the same on your end but over here its alot lmao) i'd like to write a tutorial on it but i can't write a tutorial on it until i understand it -_- lol• layout.js being deferred might be affecting the execution order of your other scripts. Since defer ensures layout.js loads before the DOMContentLoaded event but after parsing, other inline scripts might execute before it finishes
• what im going to TRY to do:
- Move Inline Scripts to DOMContentLoaded Since defer ensures layout.js loads before the page is fully interactive, you can wrap your inline scripts inside an event listener
- try placing other < script > tags before the < script src="/layout.js" defer >< /script> , so they execute before layout.js
MARCH 2025
back to a white neocities profile pic lmao
anytime I embed soundcloud it just slows down my page speed thus here we are again. tried to just put 3 songs on this time but as you can see.... plan to add my journal and stuff to my actual index page but i'm still messing around with coding things so it's not on the priority list. weird cause this was just meant to kinda be a little blog site of mine and instead i find myself just addicted to learning random JS, html and css tips and tricks. guess neocities is the right place for that.note for myself: i think it may be best to keep "all blog posts blablabla" without layout.js bc they are still able to link into the main div as long as i place "div id main" on those pages, which would then continue allow me to put my ALL blog posts into iframes, allowing me to not make duplicate content and only having to make one post each time decreasing frame work o.0
MARCH 2025
can i stop adulting now?
i'm just super confused lol. i bought my house in 2024 ( obv still have a mortgage ) but i bought it not in a flood zone and NOW suddenly i am in a flood zone according to insurance or however it works? so now i need flood insurance? i just think its BS honestly, i never would have bought this house if it was in a "flood zone". i'm just trying to figure things out.. but anyways besides i want to say i'm learning javascript but it's still super confusing, i have been asking help from chat GPT. ( to my surprise it is useful ) but i don't get it, lol. chat gpt is recommending i change my site to a grid or flex layout? this is alot so i'm trying to understand but idk lol. i plan to try to change my site layout soon into javascript but..... well see how that goes, lol. i'm sure it will be frustration. anyways if you're reading this i hope you are doing okay.FEB 2025
here we are again
welp moms been deceased three years tomorrow. (less than 2 hours away) things come in waves i guess, feelings, emotions, exc. made a gift page not a real update but feeling like i can give back to the world in real life and digitally, cliche as that sounds. *sips water. if you're reading this you should take a sip of water too.FEB 2025
navigation annoyances
so i tried to implement my navigation bar into one single line of code (which worked) but didn't look right on mobile -__- after i clicked the link it would get "stuck" in drop down mode. welpFEB 2025
web design
i'm moving alot of things around bc idk i'm still not 100 percent loving the navigation things i've been moving,... sigh. lol. just confused where to put my blogs versus my blog "photo" and website resources and stuff. reminder always keep a back up file!! if you're reading this try to enjoy your day (:FEB 2025
e m o t i o n z
Just having alot of emotions recently, alot in my life is changing A G A I N. kinda wanna go get pierced because i haven't had a new piercing in forever. i don't have tattoos because my mom always asked me not too. i'd probably have my whole body covered if it wasn't for her always asking me to never get any. doesn't really matter because she's gone but some part of me still feels like i can't get any still, like some unwritten promise between life and death i guess. feeling like i might re-do my whole site navigation again and just move things around and then regret it later. almost laughed out loud writing that but it's true. i wanna make like a seperate resources category for different things or sites i like just don't really know how to go about it, or where to place it either. probably gonna binge alot of useless updates to keep my brain going, sorry in advance. hope if you're reading this you're doing okay.FEB 2025
&& were back
Kinda mad I deleted my journal >.< Came to the realization that not everyone’s going to understand or support you but that’s okay, that’s life. I thought showing my S.O. would think it was cool what I did in my free time but instead was ridiculed for “playing on the computer.” Anyways, end lesson here is do what makes you happy regardless of what other people think. 🧘